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You're at a cocktail party. There are lots of people there but there's nobody that you know.
What do you do? The good conversationalist would choose to walk up to someone and introduce
himself. We all know people like that — people who can talk to anyone about anything. How do
they do it? Well, the good news is that there is no great secret to small talk. There are just some
simple techniques that anyone can use to start a conversation and keep it going.
2. In the film ‘Annie Hall’ Diane Keaton and Woody Allen have just met and they want to
impress each other. While they are talking their inner thought appear in sub-title on the screen.
'Listen to me-what a jerk.' he probably thinks I'm stupid.' Thoughts like these kill a conversation. So
don't try to impress other people. Just relax and be yourself. When you talk to someone you show
that you are interested in them. So you don't have to talk about deeply important things. Just talk
about simple things like the weather or a television program that you saw.
3. TV journalist Barbara Walters recalls that when she was younger she met the author,
Truman Capote. She wanted to tell him that she liked his book. However, she thought that he must
be tired of hearing that, so she just mumbled 'How do you do?' and turned away. She forgot that
everybody likes to receive a compliment and it's an easy way into a conversation, especially if you
follow it up with a question: 'I really liked your book. How long did it take you to write it?' or
'That's a nice jacket. Where did you buy it?'
4. Your face and your body can communicate much more than your words. If you stand with
your arms folded or if you keep looking around the room, the conversation will quickly end because
you will look uninterested. Instead, you should make eye contact; keep an open posture and smile.
If you send out friendly messages, you will get friendly messages back.
5. A Victorian lady once compared the two British prime ministers, Gladstone and Disraeli.
'When you speak to Mr. Gladstone', she said, 'you think he is the most interesting man in the world.
But when you speak to Mr. Disraeli, you feel that you are the most interesting woman in the world.'
People like to talk about themselves and they will think you are fascinating if you ask questions that
allow them to do so.
6. But people often don't listen properly. They are too busy thinking about the next thing that
they themselves want to say. Good conversationalists listen carefully and they show that they are
listening, too. They ask questions, nod their head in agreement or say things like 'Oh that sounds
exciting'.
7. There are some topics that you should avoid. Don't ask people about personal problems,
money or religion. It's also a good idea to avoid the kind of statements that say 'I'm right. You're
wrong'. It's all right to express your opinions but soften your comments with expressions such as
'I'm afraid I have to disagree with you there'. So, there is no secret to successful small talk. Just
follow these simple rules and you'll soon find that you can hold a pleasant conversation with
anybody about anything.

are you at the coctail party?
how many people are there?
thoughts like this kill the conversations, don't they?
what can communicate much more than your words?
will you get friendly or angry message back?

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